I truly have a husband that surpasses all I could ever hope for in a partner. He’s everything and more that I could have imagined in a husband. He encourages me to grow, keeps me safe and eddies true goodness and integrity, loyalty and humility. Living beside such a man keeps to constant in my efforts to match him. Farshad is always doing things to make me smile and remind me that he holds my happiness and joy in the highest regard. Whether it’s surprising me with a hot chocolate or taking me to an Olivia Newton-John concert,who is surely not his top choice, put a joy for me.
For the past five years on the weekend before Valentines Day, we go away. It’s been a tradition for us to go to The Grammys. He has gotten tickets for us to go because he knows how much I love music. I know he doesn’t do it because he loves it, but he does love it because I love it.
I have been feeling a little less than excited the last couple of years about attending, not because I don’t want to get away with my husband, because that’s the best part. What I have happening is this unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach as I go to the awards show, of feeling that I have failed as an artist. The voice in my head continually saying “you should be further along in your music career.”
Even with these feelings of difficulty, I feel guilty for feeling the way I feel. I in no way want this to come across as being ungrateful for being able to attend something so extraordinary or that I am comparing myself to anyone. Still I go and I am happy for those that win Grammys and I daydream about what it would be like to receive such an honor. Just to be acknowledged as an artist is mostly what I am longing for. I know there are so many talented singers, songwriters, musicians, producers, out there hoping for a “break.” So many do not get acknowledged for their talents and I know fully well that there are millions that are much more talented than I am. I’m just trying to get myself to be happy in the moment and feel proud of where I am in my creative journey. While it’s a bit of a bitter pill of reality, I will relish in the beautiful memories that I continue to make with my husband, and continue to dream because in my dreams I can always choose to win. #FollowYourDreams
